Breakups suck, but at least there’s wine. 🍷 Whether you’re deep in denial, raging in anger, or finally reaching your glow-up era, we’ve got the perfect wine to match your heartbreak. From sweet Moscato for sugar-coated denial to a crisp Chablis for that ‘Wait, I’m actually thriving’ moment—this is your official breakup wine guide.
💔 The Stages & Their Perfect Wines:
✅ Denial: Moscato – Sweet enough to make you forget you’re sleeping alone.
🔥 Anger: Zinfandel – Bold, spicy, and high in alcohol… just like your unsent texts.
🤡 Bargaining: Oaky Chardonnay – Smooth, complex, and full of false hope.
😭 Depression: Boxed Wine – Cheap, plentiful, and hug-friendly.
✨ Acceptance: Chablis – Crisp, refined, and totally unbothered.
🎉 Bonus: Rebirth? That calls for Sparkling Rosé, because you’re back, baby.
Hit LIKE if you’ve ever survived a breakup with wine, and COMMENT your go-to heartbreak pour! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE for more unpretentious, wine-fueled fun.